Sam Reckford, Millicent Fenwick’s grandson, accepts her induction into the New Jersey Hall of Fame from former NJ Gov. Christine Todd Whitman and CNN anchor Susan Hendricks.
Sam Reckford, Millicent Fenwick’s grandson, recently accepted her induction into the New Jersey Hall of Fame on May 6, 2018. Yesterday his affectionate memories of his grandmother were published on north jersey.com. His article appears below.
Remembering my grandmother, Rep. Millicent Fenwick
Last week I accepted, on behalf of my grandmother, Millicent Fenwick, her induction into the New Jersey Hall of Fame.
Grandma was a character. One might say that you couldn’t have made her up, but Garry Trudeau came remarkably close in his creation of Lacey Davenport.
Her style and personality were forged from an odd set of circumstances that would be impossible to replicate. She was born into great privilege, but had her mother ripped away from her when she was just four years old, with the sinking of the Lusitania.
She debuted before the King of Spain, but loathed society events.
She disobeyed her parents’ wishes by marrying a dashing aviator, but was soon abandoned by him, and left with two small children and few resources.
She struggled to get a job because she never finished high school, and was even turned away from selling stockings at Bonwit Teller. Of course, what the hiring officer at Bonwit’s didn’t appreciate was that Grandma was the living embodiment of the old maxim, “Don’t let school get in the way of your education.”
When she was withdrawn from boarding school at 16 to live in Madrid – where her father was posted as U.S. ambassador – she gained the opportunity to travel throughout Europe and North Africa, read extensively and learn many languages.
Then fate – made possible by her social position – placed her at a dinner party next to Condé Nast at a time when he needed a junior editor at Vogue.
As a child, I largely knew my grandmother as the author of Vogue’s Book of Etiquette. She knew exactly how people ought to behave in all circumstances, and she dutifully recorded it, but made it plain that etiquette was principally about making people feel comfortable, not Victorian stuffiness.
The most immutable rule of all was how to treat people that are in a subservient position; it is far more important to treat them with respect than it is to act in a certain way in front of one’s peers and social superiors. That is how Grandma came to be loved by her staff and the shopkeepers in Bernardsville, yet not so much by the chairmen of powerful House committees and Cabinet secretaries, not to mention autocrats around the world.
Despite her aristocratic bearing, Grandma had a rapport with working people and those that society had neglected because she truly cared about them and their problems, and they recognized it.
In my office, I have a tapestry embroidered by six Ukrainian women jailed in a gulag in Moldavia, given to her in appreciation of her defense of human rights in the USSR. I don’t know how these unfortunate women found out about her struggle for what would become the Helsinki Accords in that pre-Internet age, but it is an inspiration to me every day to see this testament to what one caring and determined person can accomplish.
It was an honor to stand in for her and thank the people of New Jersey for this official recognition of her life of public service.
We can all aspire to follow her good example.
Sam Reckford is a resident of Millburn.
Six Degrees of Millicent 
Posted by aroundthebloc on May 16, 2018 at 11:32 am
This is so moving! Thank you for sharing.